


put a ring on it

by orphan_account



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Bathing/Washing, Canon Trans Character, Cunnilingus, F/M, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Married Sex, Not about marriage despite the title, Oral Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Safer Sex, Second Chapter Tags Are:, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Unsafe Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Wall Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2018-12-03 05:24:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11525436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Lup is holding her box, and Barry is holding his. Lup has her bottom lip between her teeth, and for maybe the first time ever, she looks nervous.“What if… what if it’s weird?” She says. “What if the magic’s fucky? That shop was pretty old. What if this curses my junk. What if I just have, like. A weird face down there forever.”“It won’t be forever,” Barry says. “Our bodies reset every year. You’ll just have to live with junk-face for like, eight months.”“Smartass.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's shameful that it took me this long to write something featuring [prinxe's transmutation ring](http://prinxe.tumblr.com/post/155039237091/for-anyone-asking-why-my-trans-taako-has-a-dick-in) but hey, better late than never.
> 
> NOTE- Dysphoria is discussed, a little more heavily than in my other fics. That being said, a large theme of this is alleviating dysphoria so there's that.

Barry is sitting at the kitchen table of the Starblaster, enjoying a cup of coffee and one of the biscuits Taako made for breakfast. The planet they’re on is similar to their home planet, and he and Lup managed to find a farmer’s market on one of their definitely-not-dates-what-are-you-talking-about-Magnus. Barry bought a jar of brumbleberry jam, whatever that was, and Lup bought roughly five pounds of what Barry guessed to be vegetables. The plants of this world are ones that he’s never heard of, but Lup was excited to get to cook something new.

Brumbleberries, as it turns out, are pretty similar in taste to blackberries, and the sweet, tart flavor of the jam pairs nicely with the flaky, butteriness of the biscuit. Barry is congratulating himself on his jam choice when he hears the door to the Starblaster slam open and somebody coming towards the kitchen in a dead sprint. He reaches for his wand just in time for Lup to appear in the doorway, out of breath and grinning like she’s won the lottery.

“Barry,” she pants, “you’ll never fucking believe what they’ve got here.”

“What?” He asks, heart still pumping from the adrenaline rush he just got and hand still on his wand.

“C’mon,” she says, and is grabbing his hand and pulling him out of his seat and out the door before he can even mourn the loss of his breakfast.

Lup _sprints_ through the little town they landed the Starblaster on the outskirts of, and Barry is wheezing by the time she skids to a stop in front of a small shop that’s overshadowed by the two larger stores on either side of it. The sign above the door reads, ‘Thomathan’s Arcane Goods and Services,’ and it looks like it’s been here for decades. The paint on the sign and the building is faded and peeling, and the window on the front of the store is dusty and starting to turn opaque. 

Barry wipes the sweat off his forehead with his sleeve, and Lup grabs his other hand. The expression on her face is so happy, so earnest, and Barry smiles just looking at her like this. 

“You’re gonna flip your shit,” she says, and pulls him through the door. 

An especially old halfling is seated behind the counter, and he looks up as they walk in. 

“Back again, Miss Lup? You left so fast I thought I’d scared you off.”

“Not even close, my man. Just had to get my partner in crime here.”

She walks over to the counter, Barry in tow, and points to a gold ring displayed beneath the glass counter.

“Thomathan, will you be a dear and tell my friend Barold here what this little beauty does?”

“Certainly. This ring is imbued with transmutation magic, and wearing it will allow you to, well. Alter the appearance and form of your genitals, to put it clinically. This one in particular will, in essence, create for the wearer a, erm,”

“Pussy,” Lup says, gleeful.

“…yes, precisely. But I have several others that can generate a phallus for the wearer. And if you have the time and money, I can certainly create a ring with more… specialized powers. If you want to have something more exotic.”

Barry is still sweating and trying to catch his breath, and his heart is still racing, but for a different reason than the half mile he just ran. 

“Is this the dopest shit or what?” Lup is squeezing his hand so hard it almost hurts, but he’s squeezing back just as hard. And words aren’t coming to his brain, but he feels the goofiest smile spreading across his face.

“Did you have any questions?” Thomathan interrupts their moment, but the break in concentration lets Barry gather himself.

“Can I… may I see the other rings?”

“Certainly. All of our phallic rings are sterling silver, inlaid with a gem. The gem just denotes the, ah, size difference.” He pulls a tray of rings out from the counter display. They’re all silver, like he said, and there’s one with a ruby, one with an emerald, one with a sapphire, one with amethyst, and one with turquoise. 

“They’re organized in ascending order, so ruby will be your smallest, while turquoise will be your largest. I would caution you about going with the amethyst or turquoise, though. They can be a bit much for most people, unless you’ve had some… experience.”

Barry looks at Lup, who is leaning over the display, looking at the rings. She catches him staring, and smiles.

“It’s your call, babe. Sapphire matches your eyes, but it’s your bod.”

He picks up the emerald-inlaid ring, looks it over.

“This one,” he says, and puts it on the counter.

“Aw, we match.” Lup squeezes his hand, and he sees that her ring has an emerald inlay as well.

“Excellent choice,” Thomathan says, and places the other rings back into the display case. “Will these be all for you?”

“That’ll do it for me. Bar?”

He nods, Thomathan places their rings in two separate boxes (despite Lup’s protest that the boxes are only going to slow her down), and ten minutes later they’re back on the ship, both sitting cross-legged on Barry’s bed. Lup is holding her box, and Barry is holding his. Lup has her bottom lip between her teeth, and for maybe the first time ever, she looks nervous.

“What if… what if it’s weird?” She says. “What if the magic’s fucky? That shop was pretty old. What if this curses my junk. What if I just have, like. A weird face down there forever.”

“It won’t be forever,” Barry says. “Our bodies reset every year. You’ll just have to live with junk-face for like, eight months.”

“Smartass.”

“Yeah,” he says, and then, “I’m nervous too. What if it’s just… What if it’s not… enough? What if I got my hopes up for nothing? What if I feel the same?”

“I dunno,” Lup says. “I mean. We’re kinda in the same boat, Bar. Like, yeah. What if this… this thing that I’ve fucking thought about my entire life, what if, now that I can finally have it… what if it doesn’t live up to what I wanted?”

“Yeah.” He says. “I dunno.”

They sit there, boxes in hand, for what feels like an eternity. And then, Lup opens hers.

“Fuck it. I’m doing this shit. You in?”

Barry takes a deep breath. “Yeah. I’m in.” He opens the box, looks at the ring. It’s a beautiful ring, clearly crafted with care. He picks it, holds it at the tip of his right middle finger. Lup has hers at her left index finger.

“Ready?”

“Ready.”

When the ring goes on, it was like it was meant to be worn by him. It fits his finger perfectly, not too tight, not too loose. And for a second, nothing feels different. 

“I don’t-“ and then there’s something _there_. Lup has a look on her face like she’s having the same experience, and almost in synch they start unbuttoning their pants.

“Holy shit,” Lup breathes out, just as Barry whispers, “Oh my god.”

There’s a dick, a for-real flesh dick, attached to Barry’s actual body. He touches it, and _feels_ it.

“Oh my god,” he says again, and looks at Lup. She’s got her hand in her pants, and her mouth is hanging open in what looks like a mixture of shock and joy.

“Barry,” she says, “It fucking worked. I can’t believe it. I can’t-“ and she makes a choked noise and she’s _crying_ and fuck if Barry’s not crying too, and he shifts forward and hugs her tight to him. He’s laughing, and she starts laughing too, and her arms wrap around him. They’re laughing and crying and holding each other with their pants undone and lights dancing off the rings on their fingers.

 

It takes some getting used to, having something between his legs. Not that he hasn’t worn a packer before, but this is different. Lup laughs at him for walking stiffly and wide-legged for the first few days, and Merle keeps trying to talk to him about hemorrhoid treatments. 

Lup, on the other hand, shows no difference, except she’s grinning all the time. She told Taako, apparently, because the next day he comes up to Barry while he’s brushing his teeth and says,

“I’m so happy for you, Barold.” He puts his hand on his back and leans in. “You know how to pee standing up?”

Barry chokes on his toothpaste. Taako leaves the room cackling, and yells out, “I’m blaming you for any future toilet messes!” before he’s too far away for Barry to respond.

They make it barely 48 hours before Lup says, “You wanna test out the new equipment?”

She’s just gotten out of the shower, and she has a towel wrapped around her hair and another towel wrapped around her body. Barry’s sitting at his desk, working on his notes on the Hunger. He looks up at her, and there’s a sheen of condensation on her skin from the steam- Lup is frequently guilty of using up all the hot water- and the towel around her covers so little. He can see almost all of her thighs, and he’s sure if she was to bend over, he’d see everything.

“Yeah,” he says, almost giddy, and stands up. In doing so he realizes he’s already half-hard. Lup notices too, and laughs, not unkindly.

“Is that.. normal?” he says, torn between concern and just not giving a shit.

“I don’t really know, but you do have a smokin’ hot elf one piece of fabric away from being naked right in front of you. So I wanna say yes.”

“Works for me,” he says, and he’s kissing her, one hand on the back of her head and slipping under her towel just a little so he can pull her closer, other hand on her waist. Her hands are on his shoulders and he can feel his shirt getting damp, but he can’t bring himself to care. He loves the soft curves of her, the way his hands go perfectly on her body. The way hers go perfectly on his.

He feels Lup shiver against him, and brushing his hand down her arm, he feels goosebumps.

“Are you cold?” he asks, just a hint of teasing in his voice.

“Hush, I just got out of the shower. And _somebody_ is supposed to be warming me up, anyways.”

“You’re right, I’ve been _woefully_ remiss in my duties.” He grins, guides her so she’s sitting on the edge of his bed. Drops to one knee, then the other. “Let me make up for it.”

And Lup, she spreads her legs and oh, it’s weird at first, but unmistakably _Lup_. 

“You’re gorgeous,” he breathes, and she laughs.

“That’s magic for you.”

“Mm-mm,” he hums, pressing a kiss to her inner thigh, “that’s you.” And he hooks his arms under her legs, pulls her hips forward just enough so he can press his mouth against her, and she grabs his hair so hard he’s worried she’ll pull it out.

Lup tastes… fucking incredible, is the only thought in Barry’s head. She’s wet and warm and soft and slick and every time he’s given her oral it’s been mind-blowing but this… this is something entirely new. And he’s a little overwhelmed, not entirely sure what he’s doing, but he drags his tongue over her clit and the moan she makes seems to be positive feedback. So he keeps doing it, and her hips start thrusting into his face, onto his tongue, and she’s grinding against his mouth.

“Bar, Barry, fuck, please, I wanna- please, please, put a finger in me, I wanna know, _fuck,_ ” and she comes, thighs clenching around his head and whole body shaking. She releases her death grip on his hair and falls back onto the bed.

“Shit,” she says, “was that too fast?”

Barry wipes his mouth. “Are you kidding? That was a compliment.”

“Hah,” she says and arches her back, “fuck. Fuck, that was good. I didn’t know it was gonna feel like that. Shit.”

“You taste really good. I mean, you always do. But this was… uh. This was good.” He’s turning red, blushing, and the tent in his jeans is glaringly obvious. And uncomfortable. To his dismay, bluejeans and boners don’t mix especially well. 

“Lup,” he starts, as she says, “Will you fuck me?”

She says it- shyly, like it’s their first time. Which it… kind of is? Like this, it is. And he wants to, badly, fucking desperately wants to feel her around him, around _him_ , not just his fingers or a toy.

“Can’t promise I know what I’m doing,” he says, standing up, still blushing. Lup snorts.

“I couldn’t give less of a shit.” She sits up, kisses him. “I want you.”

She helps him take off his shirt, unbutton his jeans. He steps out of them, keeping his underwear on as he gently loosens the towel wrapped around Lup. He’s impressed that it’s stayed on this long, though the towel that was on her hair fell off, onto his bed. And Lup is so beautiful, with her wet hair uncombed, unbrushed, sticking up in places and clinging to her face. He climbs onto the bed, guides her down so she’s lying beside him, kisses her. 

He’s on his side and she’s on her back. He brushes his hand down her chest, between her breasts, over her sternum, over her stomach. Doesn’t break the kiss. He feels her hips twitch up as his hand rests just above where she wants it. Barry can’t bring himself to make her wait long. He dips his fingers down, and oh, she’s so wet, _fuck_ , and she keens into his mouth as his fingers brush over her clit. He strokes it a little- lightly, teasingly- until her hips buck up, urging him to keep going.

When he presses the first finger in, he goes slow. She’s tight, really tight, and he wants this to be good for her. The noise she makes when his finger is all the way in- when he curls it oh-so-slightly- Barry almost comes then and there. Lup broke away from the kiss when he started pressing into her and her head is buried in the crook of his neck. He can feel her breath, coming hot and fast against his skin, and goosebumps spread up his arms. 

“Again,” she manages, and he obliges. Curls his finger, a little more firmly, and Lup gasps. He keeps going, keeps pressing into her, drinking in the little noises she makes, all her gasps and whimpers. He keeps going for a little while, like this, until she whispers, “Another.”

“You sure?”

“Mhm. Please... Please,” her voice cracks. Barry carefully, carefully presses another finger against her, moving slowly, pleased to find that there’s not much resistance. 

“Move them,” she says, and even like this, naked and trembling against him, she’s powerful and commanding. And he does.

“Mmm. Yeah,” she breathes out, kisses his neck. “That’s… fuck, Bar, that’s good.”

He scissors his fingers a little, stretching her a little more. She grunts.

“You good?”

“Yeah. Yeah. Will you… mm, will you rub my clit?”

“Of course,” he kisses the top of her head, clumsily moves his thumb so he’s stroking her clit as he fingers her. It’s slow, at first, while he gets the hang of it, but it doesn’t take long for him to figure out how to curl his fingers up while his thumb rubs firm circles and Lup comes again and he can _feel_ it, feel her clenching around him, and oh, oh, oh, he wants that around his cock.

She takes a minute to come down, kisses where she bit into his shoulder as she came, kisses his neck and his jaw and his lips. When she pulls away, she’s radiant, glowing, beautiful.

“I’m ready,” she whispers, voice low and hoarse, and Barry presses a kiss to her lips before turning over, grabbing a condom out of his bedside drawer, clumsily shucking off his underwear and tearing open the foil packet.

“Can I…?” Lup asks, and Barry hands her the condom. She pinches the tip, rolls it on slow, and her touch has him shivering. He’s so close already, this is so much, but he wants to last for her. She kisses him, lies back, hooks her legs around his hips.

“C’mon, big guy,” she grins, and he grins back. He shifts towards her, feels his cock brush against her clit and she hums. Barry guides himself lower, presses against her, starts to press into her as gently as he can, watches her face. He sees her eyes press shut and she breathes out through her nose, and he stops.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, just… fuck, you’re big. ‘m not used to this. Somehow.” And even though she’s in pain, she grins at him.

“You want me to stop?”

“No, just… shit, gimme a minute. Fuck.”

“Take all the time you need,” he says, and leans in to kiss her. One hand is still holding his dick against her but he uses his other to play with her breasts, squeezing them, pinching her nipples, making her squeak. It takes a few minutes but she finally loops her arms around his neck and says, “Okay.”

Still slow, still careful, he presses further into her. She squeezes her eyes shut and bites her lip.

“Keep going,” she says, and he does. And then, suddenly, his hips are flush with hers and she lets out the breath she’d been holding.

“Will you… Bar, will you just stay here for a sec, you’re… fuck, you’re a lot.”

“Yeah, of course, yeah,” and he kisses her collarbone. Her arms hold him tight, hold him close, and he can feel her heart beating. 

“Okay,” she says, again, and he kisses her jaw before he pulls back and thrusts in, slowly. Lup makes a noise but it’s more pleasured than pained, and when he does it again she digs her nails into his shoulders. He goes slow, as much for his sake as for hers, and he’s already on the verge of coming when Lup meets his hips on a thrust and he loses it. It’s good, it’s so good, and as his hips stutter Lup pulls him in, kisses him, holds him against her. 

“I love you,” he gasps, “I love you, Lup, I love you, I love you-“

“I love you too, fuck, Bar, you’re so good,” she kisses him, “so good, I love you.”

He has to take a minute before he pulls out of her, has to gather himself, and when he pulls out, Lup groans. Barry pulls the condom off, ties it, throws it away, and crawls back to lie next to Lup. She looks at him, he looks at her, and they break into giggles.

Lup takes his hand, kisses his ring, kisses each of his fingers. Kisses his palm and makes her way up the inside of his arm. At the inside of his elbow she makes eye contact with him, and he blushes. She blows a raspberry against his skin and he laughs and pushes her away. She laughs, too, and rolls onto her back. Lup holds her hand up, looks at her ring.

“You think these’ll make it to the next cycle?”

“I mean… they should, right? Everything else has.”

“Yeah. I guess.” Lup moves so she’s straddling him, and her nearly-dry hair falls over their faces like a curtain. “Just in case, though, we better put some mileage on these bad boys. Get our money’s worth.”

“Good idea. Wouldn’t want to have wasted all that money.” Barry lifts his head to kiss her, and, well. They go from there.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written for a 30-day writing challenge but never posted because without the context of the first chapter, it read like I had just made them both cis. It's important to me that Lup and Barry are both trans and proud of that, and I didn't want to publish something that sent a different message, even inadvertently. I went back and edited this a little to hopefully make their transness more clear, and decided it would be best to publish it as a second part to this fic, if nothing else for context. 
> 
> No real dysphoria mentions in this chapter! This takes place post Story and Song, and they're married and very much in love.

“Alright,” Lup says, leveling her scythe at the lich floating ominously in front of them, “we’re gonna need you to put those spooky hands up and come quietly.”

Predictably, the lich raises one of said spooky hands and casts a powerful ball of icy-blue flames towards them. Barry dodges out of the way, ducking behind a stalagmite, but Lup, ever the show-off, encloses herself in a shimmering ball of fire and when it burns away, she’s gone. Barry has to rub his eyes before he can see clearly, the fire was so bright. When his vision clears, he can see Lup behind the lich with the blade of her scythe around its neck. Just before she pulls it across its throat, she sticks her tongue out at Barry. 

Even covered in thick black lich blood, she’s gorgeous. And she’s sauntering back over to him, swinging her hips just slightly, in that way that drives him wild. 

“Nice,” he says, still a little stunned from the light and the smirk on his wife’s face.

“I know that look,” she says, and smacks his ass before opening a rift back home. “C’mon, horndog. My adrenaline is pumping and I’m in the mood to get ravished.”

Barry rubs the worn silver ring on his right middle finger and follows her through the portal, half-hard and giddy with anticipation.

When he steps into their bedroom, Lup already has her shirt off, and she’s Prestidigitated the lich blood off her face and out of her hair. Barry has roughly half a second to notice these things before she’s kissing him hard. His hands find her hips and, and he pulls her in, letting her feel him as he ruts against her. Lup gasps, and Barry sucks at her bottom lip. Her breasts are pressed up against his chest, and he cups both in his hands and squeezes. He runs his thumbs over her nipples, feels them start to firm up, and his dick throbs. He realizes he’s stopped kissing her, is just standing there with his lips hovering centimeters from hers. She pulls back and smiles lazily.

“You’re such a pervert, you know that? Getting turned on by me reaping a lich. Or is that more goth than pervy?”

“I can’t help it.” He says, giving her a quick kiss, “You really know your way around a scythe.”

“That’s not the only thing I know my way around.”

“Yeah?”

Lup slides a hand between them, presses it against his erection, and gently grinds her palm against it.

“Yeah.”

“Lup,” he groans, pressing into her hand, “I wanna fuck you.”

“Oh, hell yes,” she whispers, “ _Hell_ yes.”

Barry looks down, sees the gold ring on her index finger, and breathes out through his nose. It's rare that they wear their rings at the same time unplanned, and seeing hers makes his heart beat faster.

“C’mere,” she says, and pulls him to the wall, turning and pressing her back against it. “I want it like this.”

“Against the wall?” he says, and his voice cracks.

“Is that okay?” 

Barry nods fervently.

“Yes. Yes! I’ve, uh.” His face is burning as he says, “I’ve thought about this.”

“Aw, is this a fantasy of yours?”

“Kinda.”

“Then I guess I better make it good.” She palms him through his jeans again as she crushes her lips against his, running her tongue over his lips until he parts them, letting her in. He’s grinding against her and she’s grinding against him- it’s like there’s electricity between them. Barry gets his hands to her thighs and as he lifts, she jumps and wraps her legs around his waist. Her ass is pressed against his dick, and she grinds down against it as she grins at him. He steps in, presses her back against the wall, and thrusts against her.

"Which, uh, which hole?"

"Is vag okay?"

"Yeah, Lup, yeah, of cour-" Lup grinds her hips against him, cutting him off as he gasps. Then he's rutting up against her, friction from his clothes good but not enough.

“I shoulda taken my fucking pants off first,” Lup gasps as Barry sucks at her neck. He pulls back to mumble an incantation, and they vanish off of her body and reappear on the floor behind them. Then his mouth is back on her neck, sucking and marking her. She squirms in his grasp, giggling, and holds the back of his head close to her. 

She shifts her hips down, angling them so she can grind against his still-clothed erection, and lets out a shuddering breath as she does.

“I need you fucking me like, yesterday,” she whispers, and Barry shifts her weight in his grasp so he can bring one hand awkwardly between them and unzip his jeans. He pushes them down as best he can with Lup's legs around him, but it’s enough to let his dick spring free. Barry adjusts it so it's between her legs, and like this- with nothing between them- he can tell how _wet_ she is. He thrusts awkwardly a few times, sliding between her lips and over her clit, and Lup is shaking in his arms by the second thrust.

“Barry,” she says, “gods, please, fuck me already, _please_ -”

“Yeah,” he whispers, struggling to find his voice, “yeah-”

Lup wraps her hand around him, guiding his tip to rest against her.

“Are you sure?” he whispers. “Are you ready?”

“Hon, I’ve been ready since you started eye-fucking me in the lich cave.”

Barry kisses her as he enters her. She’s tight around him, but so wet that he has no problem pressing his cock into her. He’s trying to go slowly, but Lup is wriggling her hips, trying to take more of him, and with her legs wrapped around him, he can’t stop her from quickly taking him to the hilt. Lup tightens around him, eyes pressed shut and forehead resting against Barry’s. He kisses her lips, her cheeks, her eyelids, until she nods.

As soon as she gives him the go-ahead, he pulls out and thrusts back in sharply. Lup’s nails dig into his shoulder and he kisses her again. Then he’s fucking into her, thrusts slow and deep as he pins her against the wall.

Lup is moaning and holding onto him for dear life, meeting his thrusts as best she can. Every thrust hits deep, making her vision hazy. Heat coils in the pit of her stomach, tighter and tighter, and she _needs_ fingers on her clit.

Barry has her pinned against the wall so well, she feels steady even as she lets go of his neck and slips a hand between them. Her fingers find her clit and rub, and she does she can _feel_ Barry’s cock under her fingers, fucking her. As he moans against her and his hips snap into her, faster now, she rubs down against her clit, finding a rhythm to match his. It feels like just seconds before she comes around him, vision blurring as he fucks her through her orgasm.

Feeling her tightening around him, hearing his name moaned in his ear- it doesn’t take long before Barry comes, too, pressed deep inside of her. He rests his head on her shoulder, panting as his hips stutter against her. His legs are shaking, and he has to take a moment to just breathe before he can pull out of Lup and set her down. He sees cum drip down her thigh as she stands on trembling legs. 

“Fuck,” she says, and Barry kisses her, hot and needy.

“That was so good,” he breathes out, “fuck.”

Lup laughs, and it’s the most beautiful sound in the world. 

“Fantasy fulfilled?”

“Oh, hell yes.”

She kisses him and it’s soft, warm, comfortable. Another dribble of cum runs down her leg, and she grimaces. Barry goes to wipe it away, but only succeeds in smearing it across her skin.

“Ew,” he and Lup say in unison. They look at each other, and laugh.

“I think I’m gonna need a bath. You wanna join?”

“That sounds good. Will you wash my hair?”

“Only if you wash mine.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal, Mrs. Bluejeans.”

Lup takes her ring off before getting in the tub- _“I love you and I love it when you cum in me but_ gods damn _I hate having cum in me”_ \- and she’s… gorgeous. Barry has seen her nearly every day for a century and a half and he’s still awestruck by her. The way her hair- shaved short a few months ago- is so soft, the way the freckles on her thighs and chest and shoulders and face paint her skin, the way she grins at him, toothy and almost shy, and says,

“Are you just gonna stare, or are you coming in?”

“I’m coming in.” He pulls his ring off, too, sets it beside hers before pulling off his jeans, boxers, and glasses and sinking into the water, facing Lup. The water is hot, and his skin prickles uncomfortably as he adjusts to the temperature. Lup’s face is pink from the heat, and she smiles at him, her legs brushing against his.

“I believe there was some mention of washing my hair?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that was in the contract. If you turn around and hand me the shampoo I’ll fulfill my legal obligation.”

“Wash it good, I don’t want to have to drag that sweet ass of yours to court.” She hands him the shampoo bottle- a luxury more than anything, given the fact that they’re liches with mostly-conjured bodies, but it smells like berries and vanilla, sticky-sweet and lovely, and Barry is more than happy to massage it into Lup’s short hair.

Her ears flick around as he rubs at her scalp, alternating between firm pressure and light scratches, and her posture gets more and more relaxed as he works, until she’s leaning back onto his chest, getting shampoo lather on him.

“Hey,” he says, fake-indignant.

“Hey,” Lup replies, eyes closed and voice slurred. “‘M tired.”

“You can’t be tired until you wash _my_ hair, remember? Don’t make me take _your_ sweet ass to court.”

“Like me suing you wouldn’t give you a boner.”

“Why would _you_ be suing _me_? You’re the one being negligent here. I did my court-mandating hair washing.”

“Whatever. ‘M sleepy and I’m goin’ to bed.” Lup’s head lolls to the side, leaving a soapy trail across Barry’s collarbones. He adjusts, sits up.

“At least let me rinse your hair.”

He does, careful not to get any of the sudsy water in Lup’s eyes, which are still shut but with a genuine tiredness rather than disinterest. Barry has to wash himself quickly, dunking under the water to rinse the shampoo out of his hair, then he helps Lup sit on the side of the tub as he dries her off. He wraps a towel around her hair to keep it from dripping, and then he uses a second towel to pat her face and neck dry. He moves down her chest, over her hips and thighs, admiring the way her clit sits against her leg, soft and pretty and tantalizing. He dries her calves and feet and drapes the towel over her shoulders. The he starts to work on toweling himself off as she watches him through heavy eyelids.

“I ever tell you you’re cute?”

“Once or twice, I think.” He’s got a leg up on the side of the so he can dry his calf, and Lup runs a hand through his leg hair- ample, dark and thick, something he’s so proud of- and leans over to kiss his knee.

“Love you,” she says, voice still slurred with sleep.

“Love you too,” Barry says, and finishes drying off, hanging his and Lup’s towels on the back of the door. “C’mere.” He helps her up, walks with her to their bed, and tucks her in before crawling under the covers next to her. Her bare skin is warm against his and it feels so good. Barry wraps an arm around her waist, pulls her in so he’s the big spoon. Lup’s breathing is slow and even, and he’s pretty sure she’s asleep when she murmurs-

“‘S really important, are you listenin’?”

“Yeah, I’m listening.”

“Dick too bomb.”

Then she’s out like a light, fast asleep in Barry’s arms as he shakes with silent laughter. Sleep is starting to overtake him, too, though, and as he’s starting to drift off, he presses a few lazy kisses to her shoulder and back. It’s not long before he’s asleep, too, enveloped in the warmth of his wife and heart full to bursting with love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought, comments are always appreciated. My twitter is @negligCatharsis and I sometimes post short writing snippets there (among other nonsense) so come hang out.

**Author's Note:**

> Will I ever write Blupjeans where Barry doesn't cry? No. No I will not.
> 
> Find me on twitter @negligibleCath
> 
> NOTE- In writing this, I'm not trying to make any broad sweeping statements about The Trans Experience(tm). I, personally, would kill for a ring like Barry's, but I tried to keep as many cliches out of this as possible because there's enough stuff out there about How Trans People Are And Should Be and I didn't want to write anything like that. This disclaimer is probably unnecessary, but I wanted to make it clear where I was coming from.


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